#i am chilling at cedar rapids | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stannamarsh · 1 year ago

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Wake Me Up Billie Joe Armstrong

Last night, Jason the Great changed my oil for free. He's amazing, and I'm still adjusting to being in a good relationship, but the stress of constantly driving to three different cities and staying in two of them (yet not really living in either) is extremely overwhelming. Prior to this, I was used to being single and/or in a partial stopgap fuckbuddy thing so I didn't have to date.

Eventually, I'd love to move in with him but we are both highly independent types who are creatures of habits and I don't want to pressure him into anything before he's ready. I also feel like I need enough money in the bank to ensure that I can take care of at least half of any change of location before I even bring it up. Though moving to the same town where he lives is an option so I Zillow to see what I can get in Cedar Rapids now and found a place that looks good in his neighborhood that is less than the rent where I currently "live."

Over lunch, I called my Dad to explain it all and had a meltdown in my office over the phone. If asked by someone who may have heard it from a different room, I will lie and say I was watching a dramatic Netflix original series. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm not used to having a job where you can be honest about what's really going on without fear of getting fired. No matter what industry you're in, it's not the norm.

There are better and worse, more and less capricious versions of that typical soul sucking pit of a work place where you're expected to figure out everything yourself with zero guidance or you're demoted or fired, but it's the rule rather than the exception.

Just as with Jason, I'm still getting used to a supportive partner, I'm still getting used to a job where I'm able (and encouraged) to ask for help. It's a small nonprofit that provides transitional housing for people with chronic illnesses but it sometimes involves pretending to be mentally healthy than I actually am, which is a learning curve too.

The second half of my day is going better because I remembered to eat. My own negative patterns include putting WAY too much pressure on myself, pretending I like things I don't in order to be nice (especially on TikTok so I will increase my scrolling), and reverting to past childhood encouragement to deny my feelings and to go against my own better judgment. These two things created a cycle of dependency that bit me in the ass as well as the asses of those who instilled it in me.

I like the happy chill days when I can just live my life without the heavy meditations on the way things are going. This is obviously not one of them. Today also highlighted the ways I struggle to take care of myself let alone anyone else (even if it's my actual job description) and as much as I attribute this to money, I'm not sure the high pressure way of living would go away if I had more. If it led to having more money, I'd probably keep doing it because then it would seem like it's justified.

#coveryourass #askingforhelp #ontheroad

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 4 years ago

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Dream SMP Recap (March 16/2021) - Worst Day

“May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.”

—-

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Ranboo

Quackity

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

—-

- Foolish continues work on the mansion.

- Ranboo goes mining and talks about his ARG plans while getting chat to gamble. It’s the calm before the storm.

---

WORST DAY.

---

- Quackity’s stream opens with a shot of Schlatt’s Grave. The sound of a chest opening can be heard.

“Alex...you know, you and I? You know I wouldn’t do anything disadvantageous...”

Chapter One.

- Quackity climbs up to the roof of Punz’s tower, where he comes face to face with Bad.

Bad: "You keep getting in my way, Quackity...”

- Quackity asks why Bad brought him up here. He tells Bad he’s just an asset to the Egg. Bad replies that he’s not just an asset -- he’s serving a purpose Quackity could never understand.

Bad: “You call it the Egg...that’s just the surface. That’s just what you think it is. It is so much more than that. It is something you cannot even comprehend.”

- Quackity asks if all Bad is is an “asset to power.”

Quackity: “You don’t know what power is, Bad, then that’s your issue. That’s why I’m getting in your way. It’s ‘cause I know the ins and outs of business, I know the ins and outs of power. And I’m sorry that’s something you’re never gonna understand yourself.”

- Quackity tells Bad to not waste his time. Bad replies that he called Quackity to tell him to stay out of his way.

- Quackity then says he can show Bad what he’s been working on: real power.

- A cutscene shows Quackity and Bad riding off into the distance, making their way to:

Las Nevadas.

Chapter Two.

- At his cow farm, Quackity finds a book in the chest, wondering who put it there. It gives instructions to follow a railway track above.

“You had the fattest ass in my cabinet.”

- Quackity follows the line down into a cave where Glatt is waiting for him. It’s...a gym? The Big Man Gym.

- Austin from Austinshow is a dead guy with Glatt.

- He can’t go upstairs or else his skin starts falling off, so he stays down in the gym with his dad.

- Wilbur goes to the gym every day in his beanie.

- Tommy also came down to the gym.

- The dead all come down to the gym to lift weights.

- Quackity asks who else is up there. Glatt says he just wants to reconnect with Quackity.

- Glatt has apparently been learning Spanish.

- Mexican Dream also comes down to the gym. Neither Quackity nor Glatt know who he is and Quackity asks if Dream’s been visiting. He hasn’t helped Glatt learn Spanish.

- Quackity tells Glatt he hates seeing him, so he’ll give him five minutes.

- Glatt gives Quackity a preposition: He wants to escape the confines of the gym and wants to be revived. He knows of a thing that exists that could help him: a book.

- The green guy who comes down to the gym sometimes has this book.

- Quackity tells Glatt he has a business venture, and is willing to offer him a bet:

If Quackity loses, he goes to Dream and gets the revive book and gives it to Glatt to use. If Quackity wins, Glatt never gets revived and works for Quackity forever.

They agree on the bet and start walking, Quackity asking Glatt about his other adventures...

Chapter Three.

- It’s raining. Quackity is standing outside Bee ‘n’ Boo as Sam walks up to him. He apologizes for calling Sam in on short notice.

- They head into the Big Innit Hotel, and Quackity tells Sam it’s time for him to visit Dream.

- Sam is hesitant. The last visit didn’t go well.

- Quackity says that there are issues with the prison, and that’s that Tommy died in there, and as Sam’s business partner, he wants to know Sam is reliable.

- Sam replies that his job isn’t to keep the visitors alive, but to keep Dream there.

- Quackity asks, even though Sam has Dream locked up, what stopped him from killing Tommy? Nothing.

Quackity: “He has power, Sam. He still has power. Why haven’t we killed him?”

Sam: “We can’t kill him, Quackity, he’s the only one who can bring people back to life. It’s the whole reason we put him in the prison in the first place.”

- Quackity suggests, then, that they go in, take the book from Dream and then they won’t need Dream anymore.

- Sam points out that he’ll refuse to give anyone the book, since Dream knows that’s the only reason they’re keeping him alive.

- Quackity asks that he at least be allowed to try.

- Sam says it’s not that he doesn’t trust Quackity, it’s that he doesn’t trust Dream. But, as Quackity points out, that’s the safety issue.

- Sam still doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Quackity starts backing away from the hotel slowly.

Quackity: “So how am I supposed to rely on you for any business opportunities, when you won’t even grant me one simple visit?”

Sam: “What is that supposed to -- I assume you’ve seen the work Awesamdude Constructions has done in Las Nevadas?”

Quackity: “Yeah, but Sam, that’s...You’re good at what you do, you’re just not cooperating though. That’s what I need from a business partner, cooperation.”

- Quackity has an idea. He places two item frames on the wall with an axe and a sword and asks to bring them in with him. That’s all he needs to get the last bit of power Dream has.

- Sam is still doubting, but Quackity brings up Tommy’s death, asking if Sam is going to let Dream get away with it. He assures Sam that he won’t kill Dream, just talk with him.

Quackity: “Sam, there’s an underlying safety issue, he killed Tommy. Do you really have any control of him right now? Is there any control you have over him right now, Sam? I can fix that, I can fix that! All you gotta do is let me in and bring these two in.”

- Quackity assures Sam that he knows what he’s doing and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get that book.

- Sam finally agrees, and they walk over to Pandora’s Vault. They enter the prison and Sam asks Quackity the entry questions:

“When’s the last time you visited the prison?”

“This is my first time. I’ve never visited the prison before.”

“Where is your place of residence located?”

“Las Nevadas.”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves to be locked up?”

“No doubt about it, of course I do.”

“What are all your prior relations with the prisoner?”

“We don’t get along, I’ll leave it at that.”

- Quackity seals the waiver book without signing it.

- They go through the security measures and Quackity does the same with the other waivers.

- They make it to the lava wall. Sam gives Quackity some food.

Sam: “The tools you have are whatever, but...if you’re gonna do this Big Q, do it right.”

- Sam throws Quackity shears, Warden’s Will, Warden’s Hammer and some item frames. He tells Quackity to not hold anything in his hand.

- The lava lowers, Quackity crosses on the bridge and comes face to face with Dream.

- Quackity asks Dream how it feels to be in there. Must feel bad.

- He brings up what Dream did to Tommy. Dream asks what people think about it. Did they think it was cool? What were they saying?

Quackity: “What matters is the very concept of it. You have a book that can bring people back.”

Dream: “And now people will believe me!”

Quackity: “Yeah...I know you have that book, Dream. Everyone at this point knows you have that book.”

Dream: “Yeah! That’s good!”

Quackity: “I mean, depends on the eyes of who you see it.”

Dream: “Well, I mean...it’s good for me.”

- Quackity tells Dream that he wants -- needs the book.

- Dream tells him that he burnt the book. Now it’s just knowledge in his head.

Dream: “I’m the book.”

- Quackity asks him to tell him what he knows, or else. He puts up the item frames on the wall and puts Warden’s Will in one of them.

Dream: “How did you -- “

Quackity: “I’m asking the nice way, Dream, and you didn’t want to tell me.”

Dream: “You’re not gonna kill me.”

Quackity: “I”m not gonna kill you, but --”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “I’m gonna make your last days in this fucking prison hell, Dream.”

Dream: “SAM! HOW DID YOU -- “

Quackity: “Don’t fucking touch me man, alright? It’s simple, Dream, alright? You’re gonna tell me all the knowledge you have in that fuckin’ book or I’m gonna come here every. Single. Fucking. Day. To make your life hell. That is exactly what I’m gonna fucking do, and I”m gonna stick to it until you give me that fucking book.”

Dream: “I’m not gonna tell you anything!”

Quackity: “You have no other choice. If you want me here every fucking day, then you’re gonna give me the fucking knowledge on the book. I’m not fucking around, Dream, you’re gonna tell me!”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “You can scream for Sam all you want, Dream.”

Dream: “How -- there’s no way -- How did you sneak it in?!”

Quackity: “Alright, alright, you know what? There’s been enough talking. There’s been enough talking, Dream. You’re gonna tell me, or we’re gonna do this the fucking hard way for as long as we need to do it.”

- The screen fades to black.

- Quackity walks to the El Rapids poster, his clothes splattered with blood. One by one, he takes down the faces of Sapnap, George and Karl. He leaves his intact.

- As Quackity goes to the peak of El Rapids and begins to take it apart, voices can be heard in the background.

...

Quackity: “This means nothing, George, this means nothing in comparison...to a challenge to power.”

“At the end of the day, what this is is a new beginning, okay? This is a new beginning for the country El Rapids. Ready? Let’s just hit each other at the same time, ready?”

“Three...”

“Two...”

“One...”

“Yeah!”

Sapnap: “I wanna fight Dream.”

Quackity: “Step by step, Sapnap, step by step. We’ll get there someday.”

Ghostbur: “What is Mexican L’manburg?”

Quackity: “Mexican L’manburg was a little place we made next to L’manburg, to kind of commemorate...”

“It’s time to say goodbye and rename it to El Rapids, baby! Have you heard of Cedar Rapids, Ghostbur?”

Ghostbur: “Yes, I’m just chilling there! Most of the time.”

Quackity: “YES!”

...

- Quackity removes his face from the picture.

- There’s a final shot of Quackity from the back, looking at the picture...

It cuts to live-action as Quackity crumples the shot into paper, puts down a whiteboard calendar with all the days marked “Visit Dream,” crosses off the first and throws his briefcase down, spilling its contents of poker chips and a pair of scissors.

- End of stream.

---

- Bad gets a pet horse named Pebbles!

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #prison arc #tw torture #long posts

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